closure principle

I guess even the tamest of dogs can and will bite back.  I just realized today that he had taken me off his myspace and friendster networks.

Who can blame him? I've pushed him away enough--blocked him from my aol account and have not responded to any of his calls and messages.

The good thing is that it does help me move on. JS asked me the other night if I still feel for him. I admitted to JS that I am still love him immensely but moving on is getting easier everyday.  I've been so lonely. I'm surrounded by more men than I could ever ask for, dating here and there, party left and right and socializing more than ever yet I feel incomplete.  I've been getting a lot of attention from a lot of men but I simply haven't met the one I want to take seriously.  I'm exhausted and definitely lost.

I need to stop looking for HIM.  I need to stop looking, period. 

My current mental and emotional states have rendered me totally unfocused with ZERO motivation. I can't get my career a jumpstart because I'm too busy partying and doing anything just to keep from feeling lonely. For now, the alcohol definitely helps.  The crazy friends I party with do much in building my confidence and making me forget. The thing is that I know I'm way better than this.

I just need to find other ways to distract myself from loneliness.

I'm tempted to open his profiles and see what's going on with his life, but I can't just let myself go like that. I know I'd once again dump myself into another pit of depression and that won't do me any good right now.  The closure principle definitely applies.

God I miss him.

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Iran hangs 2 gay teens in public

In their final moments, Iranians Ayaz Marhoni and Mahmous Asgari are fitted with nooses at a death penalty spectacle.

This is a difficult blog for me to write.  For one, the details of this specific case are hazy at best but I can't help from expressing how upset and deeply bothered I feel after hearing the news.

My initial reaction was to lash out about how cruel and barbaric the Iranian goverment has been towards its gay citizens (one of them is barely 17 years old!). Then I thought about it and I figured such a delicate issue does merit ample research. 

After reading some more articles regarding this tragic event, however, I found myself even more confused.

Was it pedophelia? 

The Iranian government has successfully immobilized the Human Rights Campaign and several other LGBT/Human Rights activists all over the world by simply claiming that the two boys had been caught molesting a 13-year old. 

But the initial reports had NO mention of such an act.  The Iranian government also claimed that the details of child molestation may have been lost in translation because of the initial frenzy and excitement that arose from the controversy--that the facts had been there all along and that the reports simply had been misread.

Too many questions and the answers are never good enough.

Whatever the truth is behind the execution of those two adolescent boys, I am deeply bothered that we aren't well informed enough or care to be informed by and about the events that happen beyond our backyards.

Here's one truth: As we sit in our favorite gay bars or prance shirtless in some gay club in the sweaty arms of some trick-who-will-do-for-now, Iran has been and will continue to hang homosexuals in public--whether the case is pedophilia or simply being intimate with someone of the same sex.

If we don't know what we're up against--how can we fight it?

Related Articles:

Iran Executes Two Teens

Hangings Awaken Long-Overdue Outrage