cupcakes in the rain

mmm...Buttercup cupcakes!!!

Whowouldathunk having a picnic on an overcast, drizzly day would turn out to be so much fun?

CT met me at my apartment at noon today. After a quick stop to grab my favorite cupcakes at Buttercup Bakeshop, we headed to Central Park to meet up with JW and friends to celebrate JW's birthday. It was a bit late in the summer to be throwing a picnic, so most everyone know well enough to dress somewhat warmly.

WH and JS, along with JW and his other friends were already there when we arrived. They found a nice spot by the lake in Cherry Hill. Even on a cloudy day, the view of the lake was spectacular.


As you can see, we're the only ones having a picnic

There were two other mats laid out when we got there, and one of them was of this couple who couldn't stop making out with each other. We're not talking kissy kissy on-top-of-the-clothes stuff. They were groping and sucking face as if Bush was going to ban making out tomorrow! If they had any hint of prettiness, I would have exploited their brazen display by taking a photograph.

It was just too tacky to handle.

As soon as we had all of the food out, the drizzle got thicker, seeming more like rain. The couple and the other group left immediately. I don't think I'd ever been so grateful for the rain sans shelter. That couple was beginning to annoy everyone.

It only rained for 30 seconds, and it was dry again. We decided to brave it and continue eating. We ate, drink, then ate some more. We threw some cookie pieces into the lake and watched the flocks of geese and mallards paddle up to us in a straight line. They were so darn cute!!!

I hadn't really spent that much time hanging out with CT without the usual brunch crew. I was glad that he joined me--I would like to get to know him better and today seems like a good start.

Here are some more photos from today. I sooo heart Central Park!


The Lake in Cherry Hill





birthday boy does a Janet tribute




who says gay boys don't play ball?


(from left) Wes, Theo, Bear, Frisky, and CT


"Save the Ewoks!!!"

Damn it! Someone beat me to it (again).

He was the only one that caught my eye last night. Scruffy is one tall drink of yum. Standing strong and lean, his short auburn hair evenly matched the fuzz along his chiseled jawline (hence, the nickname) with smiling eyes I couldn't stop gazing at and lips I could kiss all night. He looked to me like a decent mix of masculine and feminine: his movements were unaffected, easy and relaxed. Nothing like the typical self-conscious bend-and-snap body language most boys in Chelsea have. Nothing pretentiously butch about him, either.

We caught each other's gaze as he stepped outside the garden to join his friends. I saw him hesitate before returning my smile. I blushed at the realization that I had been smiling the whole time I was looking at him. I had to look away.

"Why don't you go talk to him?" my friend, NL, asked. JB nodded in agreement. "Because I suck at approaching people," I said.

"You're so full of it! I've seen you walk up to perfect strangers, do your thing and leave the scene with a brand new cirle of best friends." JB insisted.

"I didn't exactly have a schoolgirl crush on any of them" I retorted. "It's different when I'm interested in someone. I get all self-conscious and I go into my bullshit 'me shy, me retarded, me not so pretty' mode."

"Well I'm going to say hi for you." NL offered.

"NOOOOO! I will fucking die!"

"Let's go back in. You're being so lame."

I turned to look at him again as I followed NL to the bar. He hadn't taken his eyes off me, it seems. "I have no game," I told myself as I closed the door behind me.

"Shit, Nick--I think he thinks we're dating or something. He's followed us inside and he's looking!" Not even 2 minutes after we left the garden, there stood Scruffy across the room pretending he didn't just see NL put his arm around me. He kept his post for another minute and then went back out into the garden.

NL chuckled and put his arm down. "We're saying hi, Carlo."

"Oh hell yeah! I can't have him thinking I'm dating your kind." NL gave me dagger eyes as we followed Scruffy to the garden.

NL managed to charm his way into the triangle Scruffy and his friends had made against the wall. After I almost spilled a whole drink on him, we were finally introduced.

"It's John." Scruffy politely corrected NL after he is introduced to me as Tom. I shot NL a that's-so-your-last-cocktail-and-I-love-you-to-fucking-death-for-this look. He smiled in acknowledgement and proceeded to distract Scruffy's friends who seemed to have the same idea in mind. They totally indulged NL and pretty much ignored me and Scruffy.

Then NL and Scruffy's friends decided they all "need to go use the loo" at the same time. Very smooth, NL. Ugh.

Scruffy and I had a nice conversation despite some intermittent awkwardly silent moments typical of a first meeting. He looked straight into my eyes the whole time. The attraction was totally there and it made me feel so fucking pretty. It's rare that I find the balls to engage a beautiful stranger in conversation and feel like I'm actually making sense to him. It felt great.

We chatted for another hour or so. I forgot about everybody else in the garden.

Then he looked at the clock on his cell phone. The regret on his face permeated into what he was about to say. "I'm supposed to hang out with this guy I'm sort of dating and he's on his way here. He's Filipino, too."

Great. :-(

Yep. Story of my fucking life.

on the Carters and "respect" with a silent "t"

The House of Carters airs on Monday, Oct. 2 @ 9 PM on E!

Um, ok. I've never been a fan of the either one of the Carter brothers, but when my friend decided to post this clip on YouTube.com, what I saw definitely was worth a blog entry.

I know and understand very well that each family has its own respective dysfunction, regardless of race, nationality, economic status, blah, blah... But do these people realize that just because you can pretend to act like you're some in-yo-face "brotha" doesn't necessarily make you intimidating like one?

Nick Carter's attempt to dominate Aaron by his mimicry of that infamous ghetto hand gesture looked more like a throwback to the Bangles (think "Walk Like an Egyptian") than a grown man trying to intimidate somebody. That or a puppy begging for people food.

Nicky, I know what you were aiming for, but hunny, you MISSED!

Did I get a good (uncomfortable) chuckle while watching this clip? YES! Do I get a kick out of watching trashy folks expose their hershey stains on TV? Sometimes. Will I follow the series? HELL TO THE NO! {me doing the ghetto neck thing as I wag a finger} ::snap::snap::

...unless E! starts showing the brothers wrestle in their undies. I hear little Aaron is not so little anymore!

going through the motions

Just having a loser moment here. Don't mind me.

Every single day
The same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight
Still I always feel
This strange estrangement
Nothing here is real
Nothing here is right

I’ve been making shows of trading blows
Just hoping no one knows
That I’ve been
Going through the motions
Walking through the part
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart

I was always brave
And kind of righteous
Now I find I’m wavering
I don’t want to be
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can’t even see if this is really me
And I just want to be
Alive

Will I stay this way forever
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?


-Joss Whedon, BTVS

made my day

Today, I peed a little watching this:


"Shoes"

by Kelly

big hurrah for the gaysians!

Homosexuality is a natural phenomenon that cannot be suppressed away nor spread beyond its natural bounds. Gay rights are a part of human rights.

A good ex of mine who now works and lives in Taiwan sent me this article. Now that's a mayor with BALLS. Ma Ying-jeou, I hear, is favored to be the next president of Taiwan.

It is very interesting to see how exposure and education at the right place and the right time can help a person reflect and see beyond his own conviction. When Ma saw how gay communities are outside Taiwan, he began to appreciate what we are as a global community. More importantly, reading his statement, I have a feeling he now understands what we ARE NOT. Ultimately, he felt compassion for how much we struggle just to be.

Gay Flag Flies Over Taiwanby 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff
September 18, 2006 - 8:30 pm ET

(Taipei) The rainbow flag has been raised in a ceremony at Taipei City Hall - the first time any branch of government in Taiwan has officially recognized the LGBT community.

Taipei Mayor Ma Ying-jeou helped hoist the flag in a plaza in front of city hall while other political leaders and a number of gays looked on, waving rainbow colored pompoms.

"Tolerance is a necessary virtue for any world-class city," said Ma in a short speech. "Homosexuality is a natural phenomenon that cannot be suppressed away nor spread beyond its natural bounds. Gay rights are a part of human rights. We want Taipei to be a multifaceted city filled with love, peace and tolerance."

Ma, who is not gay, said that the search for LGBT civil rights in the Taiwanese capital brought him and the city closer to other world capitals. "Two years ago, I went to the Love Parade in Berlin. The mayor there, Klaus Wowereit is gay. He wasn't going to see me, but I got to talk to him for 10 minutes at the parade. Also, this year in San Francisco, I met mayor Gavin Newsom. We talked about gay issues and municipal Wi-Fi."

Newsom sent a congratulatory statement that was read at the flag raising marking the official start of pride celebrations in Taipei. LGBT groups have been holding the celebration for the past seven years, and each year until now the city has rebuffed efforts to hoist the flag at city hall. This year LGBT leaders were expecting another letdown, but Ma surprised them by agreeing to the flag raising and funding. When the festival turned up in the civil affairs budget some city councilors and conservative groups were outraged.

The weeklong festival will include human rights forums and cultural events. Wang Ping of the Gender/Sexuality Rights Association, one of the organizers of the festival, said there is still much to be done in attaining full rights for gays pointing to the issue of recognizing same-sex relationships.

To bring that point home to the government, the gay pride parade that will wrap up the festival will feature a collective mock gay wedding ceremony. Gay leaders say that if the government won't permit same-sex marriage it could at least create a civil registry such as those in a number of American states and in most European countries.

In 2004, a study commissioned by the Taiwan Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Association found that 36 percent of Taiwan's gays have been harassed or discriminated against because of their sexuality. The survey showed that the majority of harassment cases occurred on university campuses, but almost as many cases were perpetrated by family members. A quarter of the cases occurred in the workplace. In July, a 22 year old Taiwanese university student announced he had disowned his parents and is suing a psychiatric hospital after being put through what he calls a forced bid to turn him heterosexual.

Cynics, I mean, critics argue that this was simply a political tactic, perhaps even a socio-economic move (boost tourism, etc) by the mayor. The dude made history and scored a big one for our team. Just let it go.

wanna piss me off?

Try these lines. They work best in a bar or some social event:

1. "Carlos!" - if you know me, you'd know exactly why


2. "so how come you're still single?" - like I really OWE you an explanation for that!


3. "I LOVE asians!" - how the hell do you expect me to respond to that?


4. "excuse me, Ma'am..." - WTF? Even if I did look like a chick to you, I'm definitely more "miss" than "ma'am!"


5. "say something in your native tongue" - how about I say it with my native finger?


6. "what kind of asian are you?!?" - seriously... you can do better than that!


7. "you mean 'Carlos' & 'Carlo' are not the same?!?" - somebody hold my gold!!!

the apple does not fall far from the fag

me with les l. <------------------------------------------------> baby sis with manny c.

I'm amused to see my friends were so right about the uncanny similarity my baby sis and I share. Kinda scary, too.

my independence day

Today, I celebrate the day I left home to pursue my dreams in New York. Each year, I reflect on how much I've changed from the style-impaired, scrawny 19-year old borderline closet case from Clinton, NJ who almost missed his getaway bus because his cheap "Chinatown Coach" luggage set was too heavy to drag across the asphalt parking lot.

Today, I'd like to spice things up and reflect on the opposite.

A lot about me may have changed in the last 8 years, but some things have remained the same:

1. dairy still gives me the shits
2. still allergic to pussy (and I don't mean cats)
3. my sense of direction will never improve
4. saying my bedtime prayer if I'm sober enough to remember
5. i hit the snooze button for an whole hour before finally getting up in the morning
6. "I'm foreign!" is my excuse for everything
7. "I have ADHD..." is my back-up in case #6 doesn't apply (I do have Filipino friends!)
8. my mom and I are tooootally BFF (I am a homo, after all!)
9. my baby sis is my pride and joy
10. I do not enjoy small talk
11. Janet Jackson is the queen of my (pop) universe
12. I may have sworn off Chinatown merchandise since that fateful day, but bargain clothes shopping is never a crime. That is, if you can pull off half the crap that you buy!
13. BUFFY ROCKS!!! Thank you, Lord, for DVD technology!
14. Prue can kick Paige's ass ANY day
15. La Lohan will always be cooler than that Duff bitch
16. have not stopped obsessing over my hair
17. I a firm believer that Whitney will dump Bobby--for good
18. Bush is still al loser
19. I still keep a journal
20. PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME "CARLOS!"
21. Carlo will ALWAYS be late for his date with you

As the cliché goes, the more things change, the more they remain the same. I guess as we change over time, experience and (/or LOSS of) wisdom, we hang on to some things that matter the most. In my case, it's usually the little things that matter more. I mean, HELLO--this idiot celebrates his own independence day.

For you to find some items on my list frivolous and insignificant would not be surprising to me. But these things speak volumes of who I was, who I've become and who I have yet to be.

Happy anniversary to me.

-cmbi.

a song for little masochistic me

Crossword Puzzle
by Richard Cortez

what do I want with love--
someone's embrace?
what do I want from silly boys
with smiles upon their face?

i've got sleep to catch up on,
and i've got books to read
i've got the city skyline beckoning
my eyes to get some sleep

the neon signs, the bigger lights
that lead to sleepless nights
the unmade bed, the things i said
waiting for the morning light

and i'm fumbling with goodbye
as i try to find my underwear
and i'm trying to make this quick
as i fix my morning after hair

and then you do the
"will you call? because I had a ball...
and it's not like we're seeing anyone exclusively
it's just you and me--we could do it casually or gradually or..."

then I throw away your number
and I block you online
I take you off my list on friendster
just to save us both the time

because I'm better off alone
I'm one singular sensation
yeah I'm better off alone
or in the company of masturbation

and I'm hunched over the crossword puzzle
of little masochistic me
taking in the toxic waste air
of new york fucking city

and the question that's got me puzzled
seems to be "14, down"
why am dumbfounded in this world of romance
looking like some kind of clown?

betty ford was way more fun

gay, interrupted?!?
Originally uploaded by Señor Frisky

It sure as hell felt like I was a car being hot-wired (a mini cooper, since I'm soo fucking cute) with all the stuff stuck to my skull, face and the rest of my body.

This is how getting a weave must feel like.

Spent the night at the SMA Sleep Center to find out what's been causing me to not sleep well (if at all!). The room, as clean as it was, still looked like the Holiday Inn had set up shop inside a hospital ward.

I don't know how, without the help of a sedative, these doctors assume one can sleep with all these contraptions stuck to your entire body.

Somehow, I did manage to doze off. That had more to do with my loooooong weekend than anything else(and boy, do I have stories to tell!).

Now if that's not tragically comical enough for you, try making small talk (morning breath and all) in your feeble attempt to distract the attendant from your morning woody as he yanks every single wire that had been taped to your body for the last seven hours.

Tragic, I tell ya. Tragic!

another fucking blog account

Friendster was very firm when they said they wouldn't let me cancel my paid blog subscription without permanently deleting all of my entries. So I did.

I'm totally over posting blogs on MySpace because my piss can draw better templates in the snow.

Now here's another fucking blog account. Let's see where this one goes.

P.S. I did save all my friendster and myspace entries in case you actually care:

http://blog.myspace.com/friskymctwink