Brandon Routh: uncensored

To celebrate the recent DVD release of Superman Returns, I'm posting proof that Hollywood has cheated us once again by the digital castration of Brandon Routh. And yes, this was after they put all this "flattening pads" on him, too!


Teabag, anyone?!?

roomie pulls a g.i. jane

After weeks of contemplation, constant arguing and negotiation, he finally did it. BFSBR took his clippers and buzzed off all his hair.




I was totally against it. Dude's blessed with gorgeous hair. I told him he was going to hate it and I was going to have to listen to him whine about his poor judgement. But he was determined....


 

And boy, was he right about this one! DANG, chulo!!!

a fortune cookie fortune

The last blog was a bit intense, I admit. I cringed after reading it sober--well, the closest to sober I'll ever be today.

As emotionally overwhelmed as I seem to have been last night after that mini-heartbreak moment, there were good things that did happen.

I got this response from my close friend, WH, when I e-mailed him today to ask how it went with the cute blonde he met at our last bar stop at a piano bar veeeeeery early this morning:

"He has an old soul for a 21 yo, and the boy likes to cuddle. I forgot how good it felt to hold someone in bed.
Hey, everything happens for a reason, yes?! ... Do you remember my fortune cookie message from Dragonfly?

'Stop searching, happiness is just next to you.'

Hah--well, it's definitely the case last night. Today, however, is a different battle and adventure..."

As I sit here whining about my self-inflicted misery, I feel a little bit of shame for being so impatient and so cowardly at the same time. It's not excatly because WH met someone that I seem to feel less shitty about my luck in love, it's his point of view and demeanor about last night that's inspiring to me.

I always tell my friends, "It's not a matter of finding Mr. Right. I always worry about not being Mr. Right for somebody." I guess, in this case, I'm not ready for a relationship. Perhaps I need to learn some patience and be more assertive.

That doesn't mean I won't stop ranting. I'm writing this because I'm feeling better right now. And that's all I can ask for at the moment.


P.S. My fortune cookie had this message: "You seek to shield those you love and like the role of provider."

P.P.S. And fuck the lucky numbers. I hardly ever get lucky and I suck at math.

drunken 4am loser blog

It's 4 am and I'm drunk off my ass. I know. Shame on me. Tonight's overindulgence in alcohol was a necessary evil. I just have to remember to take 5 Advil before I go to bed.

Why is it so hard to let go of a smile that means the world to you, even if you know it's not yours to keep?

Being around him gives you so much joy that the mere thought of distance and disconnection from him is asphyxiating. Though he is your fix, you respect that he may never be fixated on you. You were fine with that--you didn't have a choice.

You then chose friendship to save yourself from a heartbreak.

But because you'd give anything to kiss him again, you realize that it is the friendship itself that breaks your stupid heart the instant you see him kissing someone else.

As you shrug it off and fake your nonchalance, you die inside.

The only shoulder you want to cry on already has a happy head resting on it. In the next few minutes, the growing well of tears in your eyes will help merge those two figures into a single silhouette. You will then have to turn your back and drown the screaming inside your head with alcohol as they leave the room--together.

You are alone. Again.

There is no one to blame but yourself, so self-pity is not an option. All you can do is gulp more beer and smile at the thought that he is happy. And you do because you can almost see that addictive smile on his beautiful face.

I'm a sucker for his smile.

christmas tequila cookie recipe

I'm on a roll here... simply couldn't resist. Enjoy!

Christmas Tequila Cookies

1 cup of dark brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1 cup of granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit, such as dried cranberries or raisins
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, as desired)

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup, and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add one seaspoon of thugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, so try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of fried druit, pick the frigging fruit off floor...

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

doctor-prescribed tequila

In light of my recent margarita night mishap, here's one way to laugh at myself and move on:



It's worth a few chuckles, especially the pharma-style, hi-speed disclosure. Enjoy!

Tacky McLame

Why, oh why, am I so passive-agressive when it comes to men? It is so TACKY!

Last night was margarita night with the boys. Stupid me "drunk texted" CT while he was right in front of me. We were having a totally different conversation the entire time.

Sounds like a scene from a dumb, tragically funny sitcom, doesn't it? I can't think of anything or anyone lamer at the moment. Why couldn't I just tell him up front? Not only did I ruin the tiniest chance with this dude, I also have completely lost all courage to face him. I'm surprised I didn't throw myself into ongoing traffic on my way home.


McLame [11:42 PM]: Do you have any idea what I would give to kiss you right now?

CT [11:45 pm]: I think u sent this to the wrong person. Don't you mean leo or gabe?

McLame [11:49 PM]: I want you, chris, i'm just too shy.

CT: {no response}

McLame [12:39 am]: And if you think I'm nuts, don't even answer this message
(um...WTF?? I don't even know what I meant by this!)

CT [12:42 AM]: You're not nuts! Don't say that. Had a lot of fun tonight we need to do it more often!


Ouch. I'm lucky that the man's got some grace and that he's a total gentleman. This was the most polite rejection that's ever been said to me or anyone else. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go lick my wounds if I don't end up drowning myself.

Nope. Absolutely no game.

Today's PSA Slogan: Friends don't let friends drink and text.

straight chris takes a lady

Halloween, for most American young adults, can be just as scary when blackmail videos like this bite you in the ass weeks after someone secretly takes it.

This video was taken after leaving a Halloween Party in Brooklyn. I was apparently too drunk to unstrap the high heels I was wearing (much less walk in them) that Straight Chris decided to carry me to the car caveman style.

How fucking butch. ::gag::



Brokeback Hillbilly carries Frisky's drunk ass to the car

Soo glad my face was hidden the entire time.

jaded guys do blush (...and gloat and gush)

Sometimes, you never know who reads your blogs. Today, the revelation has pretty much made my day. My ENTIRE month, if you will. See, I've been feeling like a loser more than occasionally for the past several months and it really feels good to know that there's someone out there who can relate to all my rants and raves. I'm so touched by his blog that I have to gloat.

You can count on this to be on my list of the sweetest gifts I've ever received.

I can only hope that this wonderful man knows that I've admired him just as much and for as long as I've known him. If you ever have a chance to read his entries, you'll definitely be in for a treat. He has very insightful thoughts that he expresses very eloquenty (but never highfalutin). He writes about things I can't find the words to write on my own, much less make it sound like poetry:

"We have both seen the days when we were out and open with what we have to give, when we were wearing our gift on our sleeves for everyone to grab as they pleased. We have both lit a candle in reverence to their memory. We both suffer from the consequences night after night when the light of that incandescent candle stings our eyes and takes our sleep. We both know the ending to this, and that we are moving in circles around the electricity the streets provide us with, not knowing if tonight there will be a key, or a lock, or a door and some warmth behind it. "

You never cease to amaze me, Gerd. I believe you when you say "beauty makes us vulnerable." In my case, your beauty doesn't stop at breaking down my barrier. It goes further by comforting me. You are a constant reminder of why I choose to be honest with my thoughts and how I express them. I may perhaps be the most conflicted and flawed individual I know but I can still feel blessed because there's someone out there who really understands.

The way my life has been lately, I can't ask for more.

I am indeed spoiled by the likes of you. I may not put it as eloquently as you have for me, but do know I am beyond grateful for your kindness and your friendship. You sure do know how to make this jaded, i've-heard-it-all-before New Yorker blush.

early Christmas present

My passion for photography has grown stronger in the last couple of years that I had been contemplating the idea of going back to school to be a photographer.

And since it has been MONTHS since I'd actually gone shopping, I treated myself to an early Christmas present...



Ta daaa! A Nikon D50. It's a humble start, but the last time I took a photography course was back in 1996. I was 17, in my second year of college and using a 35 mm SLR. This one's a digital SLR and fairly easy to use. I'm hoping it will allow me to refamiliarize myself with single lens reflex cameras and master aperture, shutter speed, exposure and all that fun stuff.

Like any child who gets that one gift that made him try to stay good for all year (or lie about it -- that's what I did), I HAD to open my present take photos as soon as I had the batteries fully charged.

Here are my first shots ever: