kissing frogs

Exactly how many frogs does one have to kiss until he finds his prince?

I'm beginning to worry that all this frog kissing is eventually going to give me warts (metaphorically AND literally speaking). I'm also becoming more and more worried that my kiss may be toxic. See, my recent encounters with men within the dating pond have produced more frustrating than promising results. The frogs I've kissed have either regressed into tadpoles or have simply disappeared off the face of the earth.

And the ones that have suffered neither fate have become my friends. That, I think may be the most frustrating outcome yet.

When I decided to end my last relationship a year and two months ago, I was excited to enjoy being single for as long as I am, well, single. Finding someone to date is not the problem. Finding one who is worth dating is a bitch. I guess my frustration rises from disappointment over wasted time.

I'm sick of wasting time. Unfortunately, I have to invest some time if I want to get to know a guy better.

The same dance is happening as I type. I want him and unless he is confused as hell or (effectively) lying to me, he has made it pretty clear that he wants me. The problem is that there are too many people involved and we barely started. And the guy, sweet as he is, is so inconsistent. I'm very hesitant to invest my time, effort and affection into this because it is pretty clear that neither one of us know what we really want at the moment.

Meanwhile, the mental fantasy image of me falling asleep in his arms is one indelible guilty pleasure. There hasn't been a moment in the past couple of days when I have not obsessively checked my phone for any text or voice message from him. I can't tell him how I feel because I don't know if he deserves to know.

Dating men used to be so much fun.

Perhaps the root of the problem is not the seemingly perpetual elusive frog prince. I could very well just be me, the kisser. Am I bound to kiss frogs for the rest of my life because I myself am a frog, too?

In that case, I may have to hold out for that one kiss that will turn me into some good man's prince.