what would you put up with...

...to be with someone who rocks your world?



Couldn't help but notice this random message posted on a suggestion board while enjoying a nice gluten-free double chocolate crumb cake with BFSBR at Babycakes.

Nope. Not dating a vegan. Not even dating at all. It's not the actual message that had an impact on me, but the charge of frustration that permeated through the paper and right under my skin.

It made me think of the times I've (tried to) date someone whom I had very few things in common with or lives a lifestlye that--regardless of its legitimacy--is totally foreign to me.

And then I thought of the things I had to give up along with the compromises I had to make and I started to wonder if any of it was worth the effort. I had to cringe at the memory of the lengths I had gone through to please these "ex-objects" of my affection. While some initiatives were more necessary than others, the bottom line is constant. None of these relationships had worked out.

As little children, part of our training to grow into civilized individuals was to learn how to share what we have and meet people halfway in order to build and maintain relationships with the people around us.

Somehow I feel I had missed a lesson or two on how it should be done when in a budding romantic relationship.

See, the more I found myself sharing and giving in for the sake of harmony and romantic longevity, the more entitled the other person just seemed to become. While entitlement grows directly proportional to the giving, it seems to be inversely proportional to one's desire to reciprocate another's generosity.

And then you have the ones we identify as "takers" who seem to have a knack for finding the right person to shack up with. Some of them enjoy one very long term relationship after another with hardly any effort. There is a level of resentment or perhaps loathing for who these takers are and what they undeservingly have. They are envied for getting away with so much with little physical and emotional investment.

Do nice guys really finish last?

Maybe. In my case, I choose to keep on running. Hopefully, that will give me a headstart on the next race. ;-)