Harry "Happy Trail" Potter

"Turn! Trample them! Stiff in the wind. My mane, stiff in the wind!!!"

::wink::

Does this count as cradle-robbing?

Yep. Looks like Daniel Radcliffe--a.k.a Harry Potter--will be playing Alan Strang (and will most definitely ride a horse naked) in an upcoming London stage revival of Peter Shaffer's Equus.

How quickly they grow up. ::sigh:: I mean.. YAY! :-)

Funny. I got to play Alan Strang once in college, but it was a scene study and I didn't have to be naked. Tee hee. On a serious note, I do love this play.


P.S. I can't really put my finger on it, but I fucking hate this chick:

call me a hypocrite...

but I REALLY enjoyed hanging out at T New York tonight:






and--::gasp::--SBNY, too!







Everyone is entitle to the occassional M.O.W. (moment of weakness). I can't think of a better way to swallow my pride.

why I NEED retire the name, "Mctwink"

This was e-mailed to me YEARS ago and I found it again, this time, on YouTube. Gotta love that web site!

dudes gone gay

Thought this was too amusing not to post...

and it's beginning to snow...

Somehow, walking for close to an hour in the windy blizzard on the way home from work has put me in such a good mood.

I'm so happy it's snowing!

Makes me feel like some things are back in their equilibrium--things happening as expected. I can only be optimistic.

Something good is going to happen this weekend. I just know it.

housewife

I can't help it. I'm a Jay Brannan junkie. You'll have to indulge me or you can scroll down and read another entry because I'm posting yet another one of his YouTube videos.


When Jay played this at one of his shows (the first one I had ever attended), I instantly became a fan. I really fell in love with the song, but I was never recorded until recently. I'm so pleased that he finally has because he hardly plays this live (as he explains in the video).

While I don't necessarily see myself as someone's "househubby," I can definitely relate to the fantasy of finding THE ONE who I can build a home with.

No jokes about me signing up for Habitat for Humanity, please. I'm way ahead of you smart ass bitches!

Anyway, I do have my ideal relationship, and I know what I want from it and what I'm capable of giving. But like Jay's closing line "Can't wait 'til he's in my life, 'cause we haven't met yet..."

HOUSEWIFE

two bodies pressed together
two boys are falling hard
the smell of sweat and leather
a kinky greeting card

crazy about each other
we both got fucked up pasts
but when we are together
we have a fucking blast

i wanna be a housewife
what's so wrong with that?
i wanna be a housewife
and that's just where I'm at

i'm making guacamole
he's working on the car
when he grills turkey burgers
he knows I like them charred

i like to wash the dishes
i like to scrub the floors
don't mind doing his laundry
what are boyfriends for

I i wanna be a housewife
what's so wrong with that?
i wanna be a housewife
and that's just where I'm at

i wanna have his baby
i wanna wear his ring
he drives me fucking crazy
i am his everything

i wanna be a housewife
what's so wrong with that?
i wanna be a housewife
and that's just where i'm at

i wanna be a housewife
what's so wrong with that
can't wait 'til he's in my life
cause we haven't met yet

kissing frogs

Exactly how many frogs does one have to kiss until he finds his prince?

I'm beginning to worry that all this frog kissing is eventually going to give me warts (metaphorically AND literally speaking). I'm also becoming more and more worried that my kiss may be toxic. See, my recent encounters with men within the dating pond have produced more frustrating than promising results. The frogs I've kissed have either regressed into tadpoles or have simply disappeared off the face of the earth.

And the ones that have suffered neither fate have become my friends. That, I think may be the most frustrating outcome yet.

When I decided to end my last relationship a year and two months ago, I was excited to enjoy being single for as long as I am, well, single. Finding someone to date is not the problem. Finding one who is worth dating is a bitch. I guess my frustration rises from disappointment over wasted time.

I'm sick of wasting time. Unfortunately, I have to invest some time if I want to get to know a guy better.

The same dance is happening as I type. I want him and unless he is confused as hell or (effectively) lying to me, he has made it pretty clear that he wants me. The problem is that there are too many people involved and we barely started. And the guy, sweet as he is, is so inconsistent. I'm very hesitant to invest my time, effort and affection into this because it is pretty clear that neither one of us know what we really want at the moment.

Meanwhile, the mental fantasy image of me falling asleep in his arms is one indelible guilty pleasure. There hasn't been a moment in the past couple of days when I have not obsessively checked my phone for any text or voice message from him. I can't tell him how I feel because I don't know if he deserves to know.

Dating men used to be so much fun.

Perhaps the root of the problem is not the seemingly perpetual elusive frog prince. I could very well just be me, the kisser. Am I bound to kiss frogs for the rest of my life because I myself am a frog, too?

In that case, I may have to hold out for that one kiss that will turn me into some good man's prince.

changed my mind

I was inspired to write something angry and hateful in light of what happened over the holiday weekend. But the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that I've written enough angry journal entries. I have to find a way to inspire myself to find another creative trigger.

I can forget about being angry tonight, but can I please, please indulge myself to a rant?

Remember the stuff you used to hear from your parents and all media as a child? You know--how you're really "special" even if you don't know it yet? How you're great in so many ways?

Bullshit.

Yes. You do grow up to find that you are indeed special and that you are great in so many ways. But then, so is everyone else. Even the people you've considered inferior. Some of them have even succeeded and have totally surpassed you. You choke on your pride and you hold your breath to keep yourself from eating the cloud of dust they've carelessly left as they accelerate. Then you realize you're special in your own, pathetice mediocre existence.

You know you're no rock star. You're special but you're not making money or any difference in the world.

And no matter how hard you try and how good you think you are, you will always be inadequate in a lot more ways. You find so many things in your life you can neither improve nor control and you wonder how these many "great things" you've learned you're capable of can possibly do anything to remedy the shit you find yourself stuck in or make you feel any better about being the big loser that you equally are. On top of all this you start to see
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE CALLED! Fuck this rant. I'm happy!

"out of my league"

On the way home from yet another Jay Brannan show, my good friend, BA was telling me about this new boy he met over the weekend:

"So we were at Phoenix when I bumped into this friend of mine I hadn't seen in a while. He's one of those I consider as being "way out of my league" because he's so beautiful, but I met his friend and we totally hit it off."

I couldn't remember the rest of his story because I was so stuck on what he had just said. Mind you, BA, is the kind of person you'd totally enjoy hanging out with because he is totally comfortable in his own skin. For as long as I've known him, I've never seen him not pursue a guy he's interested in. It kind of shocked me to hear that he would even think someone was too good for him.

Perhaps I misunderstood him. Or maybe he simply was being realistic--honest (like he always is) by this seemingly innocent, unloaded acknowledgement. He clearly wasn't fishing. BA's not one to fish for compliments. I don't know. But I couldn't help but do an impromptu self-examination.

As self-deprecating and ridiculously insecure as I can be at times, I've never thought anyone would ever be "out of my league." Not trying to sound like a cocky bastard. Not at all. I know there are drones of people out there who don't and will never have the slightest bit of attraction to me, but I always assume that it's because I'm not for those people and they're not for me. A simple mismatch.

I have never really looked at or thought of someone and told myself that I'm not up to par. My shyness stems from the fear of disappointment. I do understand that such fear can be triggered by feelings of inadequacy. But I hardly feel inadequate--it's more like I so quickly hype myself up over a crush that I end up speechless. Then I stand there like an idiot with a matching idiot smile on my face. It has happened numerous times before, and yes, the feeling of disappointment lingers: "why did I not say anything to him?!" or "of all the things I could have said, did I really have to talk about that rash?"

When it comes to MERE physical attraction and compatibility, I don't always believe a person can be too good for anyone. In fact, as I had mentioned before, I don't really think about it that way.

Some people will always find you attractive, a lot more people won't. But does that necessarily mean you're not good enough?

In my case, I guess I never really made any effort to find out. I'm so chickenshit when it comes to approaching any guy I'm attracted to that I don't even entertain the possibility that I could be good enough for him.

Is it possible that I may have the wrong understanding of the term, "out of my league?" Or is because I had never tried to acknowlege such a sentiment?

I guess I'll have to try and be more aware of what I'm really thinking next time. Good luck doing that with my A.D.D.

Ooooh--look! Gum!

me? gushing over a girl?

I'm not a big Filipino music junkie by any means, but the few songs and artists that I do like, I've loved since my childhood years.

There are very few contemporary Pinoy artists today that I do enjoy mostly because the Flips LOVE to recycle old material without even bothering to reinvent it. Some struggle to make their song sound like the original artist that it's simply annoying.

It is, for sure, a testament to my countrymen's penchant for karaoke. :-)

But having been raised in Bacolod City, Philippines, I will always be a sucker for acoustic ballads. I grew up listening to people sing along to a guitar guitar pretty much every night (way cooler than karaoke, I promise you!). Guitar playing is part of my native culture in the Visayas. Most people here in the U.S. have happy hour, in Bacolod, it's Divas Live. And like they say, you can take the boy out of Bacolod but... (I'll let you finish this one):-)

So it was quite a treat for me to come across MYMP (Make Your Momma Proud) the other day. They've been in the Pinoy mainstream pop charts for a couple of years but since my access to Filipino pop culture is fairly limited, this discovery was purely serendipitous. I can't stopped listening to them.

The lead singer, Juris, has the sweetest pop voice I've heard in years. She reminds me a lot of Alison Krauss back in her crossover days. It's nothing short of memorable. MYMP is a pretty much a cover band (surprise, surprise!), but she definitely succeeds where most other Pinoy artists fail--making a remake sound fresh.

Aww...Frisky's gushing over a girl!

Time to stop telling and start showing. Enjoy. And oh, yeah--I wasn't kidding about the karaoke part...notice they are lyrics on the screen! LOL.

P.S. "Kailan," the second song, is one of my childhood favorites.

"A Little Bit"





"Tell Me Where It Hurts"

"Nakapagtataka"

::sigh::